Dear Jenny

This past week, I wrapped up my last week of normally-scheduled classes for my first year of grad school. I would insert a huge, all-caps "WOOHOO/AHH IT'S ALL GOING TOO FAST" here, but I'm not anywhere near finished yet. We begin two priority weeks tomorrow where I'll be in rehearsals for Two Gentlemen of Verona from 10-6 everyday and on July 11th, we open at the Cockpit Theatre! Go here to order all the tickets your heart desires.

For our last context class, our professor had us read a letter written by Stephen Fry to his 16-year-old self. (If you're interested, you can find it here.) We were then tasked with writing our own letter, but this time to ourself at age 65. 

I would call the process of penning this letter overwhelming, emotional, fun, scary, depressing, hilarious, hopeful, and a range of other things. Very similar to the process of just being a girl.

Here are some excerpts from my final product:

Jenny –

            I wonder what’s most important to you now? I know that most of the things I cared so deeply about when I was 16 seem almost silly to me now, only 10 years later. I hope looking back at me won’t make you roll your eyes in scorn or facepalm out of embarrassment. I’d like to think I’m doing a pretty good job of being a general 26-year-old female human.

            It does feel hilariously prideful however, to be giving advice to a (hopefully) wiser person than me. Sometimes though with wisdom comes jadedness. Are you a cynic? I hope not. I hope you never stopped watching Disney movies and enjoying them for what they are. I hope you still wear the occasional ribbon in your hair. I hope when you meet a person, that you see them as a fully-realized, sentient creation with dreams and emotions just as important as your own. 

I used to see becoming an adult as a very small and very rigid box. But it doesn’t have to be that, does it? Maturity doesn’t have to be boring. Sure, be financially responsible, be emotionally available, be accountable in your relationships, but every now and then stay up all night with friends. Take everything in your fridge and try to make one meal out of it. Give yourself a day off to do something stupid. Or do nothing at all. I can already hear you sighing in exasperation, by the way. (I'm already famous for my exasperated sighs.) “That's all easier said than done.” I believe you. The trend for life so far has been to get harder, not easier. I can only imagine how difficult – how heavy – things might be at times for you.

            What gets you through that heaviness? Through the brokenness that you see everyday in the world and in your heart? My go-to’s are Philippians 4:13 and Jeremiah 29:11. I know - super cliché Christian, right? But they're overused for a reason, I think. Maybe my greatest wish for you lies in the fact that you still meditate on those promises and stand in their truth more fully than I can comprehend right now. Because if there’s one thing I could change about myself at the moment, it would be a complete realignment of my heart to the Gospel. I ache for my worth and my joy to be found wholly in God. It’s so hard pinning down your value on any other option. Achievements are fleeting. People are unreliable. Money is a sucky deity. Placing the meaning of my life is any of these ultimately leads to failure. Hopefully you're better at recognizing this than me.

Ok, some quicker, closing thoughts:

Stay active – doesn’t matter how, just keep moving.
Don’t be friends with people who are rude to the waiter.
All good mornings start this way: snooze once, roll out of bed, stretch for five minutes, pray.
Don’t curse so much. It makes it more effective when you do.
To quote Pappaw: spend a little, save a lot.
Keep writing anything and everything.
Sunscreen and vitamin D supplements.
     (On a related note: go to the dermatologist. Even if you went last month, go get all your funny freckles looked at again.)
Remember the legacy of Matthew 25:23.

Floss.
Always have a needle and thread handy.

On stage and in life – earn your pauses.

And as always - sic 'em bears.

P.S. - on a slightly lighter note, as another part of wrapping up our skills classes, we had a musical theatre night where each one of my talented classmates performed. I had the pleasure of singing (in my opinion) one of the more underrated modern-era Disney songs. Feel free to take a peek -